Ghyll:King Harandraff the Great

From Disobiki
Revision as of 11:38, 2 December 2004 by Morbus Iff (talk | contribs) (Copyediting. Sbp would like to offer the semi-nudity.)
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Imagine a great hall. Really fucking huge. You're walking down it, and there's a table at the end. At the end of the table is a person seated. You walk up to that person, slowly--tap tap tap go your feet on the marbly kinda floor (careful you don't slip). Lalala, you sing, to try to relieve some of the tension. Hey, he's got a crown on his head, so probably a King of some kind. You get to the King, and he throws a flaggon of wine all over you with a yo ho ho and a bottle of rum thrown into the bargain. You are in the presence of KING HARANDRAFF, you lubberly ass-scum!

King Harandraff was a bit of a git, really. The ruler of all Ghyll around -400 EC, he suppressed all other histories but his own, and was opposed to any form of scholarly activity. If you even wanted to read his History you had to apply for a special permit, which was usually given in the form of a sword in the gut.

Contrariwise, as Alarius notes, Harandraff pretty much mellowed the fuck out when he got older, mainly because of his castle changing around him from day to day. He didn't found Bute as is sometimes thought, but he was fairly amenible to not stabbing its faculty at random by the end of his reign.

But well, he lived around -400 EC, so obviously we don't know splak about the dude, and all of this is probably just hearsay. Some reports say that he was most likely a beautiful woman forced to drag up at the behest of the courtiers, and that all this nonsense about him being a assholistic bastard was invented way later on.

At the end of his reign, as Ghyll's only united king, he was pronounced to be the greatest human being that ever did walk on this fair and pheasanted land.

His gall stones are now on display in the great foyer of the Odlucian Library.

Citations: Bute University, Odlucian Library, Splak.

--Sean B. Palmer 02:27, 23 Nov 2004 (EST)


I suppose this means that Ghyll's other monarchs were "disunited kings"? Really. --John Cowan 16:44, 24 Nov 2004 (EST)