Difference between revisions of "Ghyll:Splak"

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(Dib with the usual quotations)
 
(First draft)
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Dibbed.  --[[User:Jcowan|Jcowan]] 13:28, 20 Feb 2005 (EST)
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'''Splak''' is the name given to a combination of ''spla'' and ''k***'' (the latter word cannot yet be printed in full, even in scholarly works, due to the great offense it gives to many), the output of the [[Ghyllian excretion]] system.  The ''spla'' is the larger white part, which is nitrogenous waste and insoluble in water; the small black dot in the center of a pile of splak is the ''k***'', which is the final product of digestion and contains a complex mixture of mostly water-soluble chemicals.  Ghyllians deposit piles of splak about every other day on average, though there is wide normal and pathological variation.
  
The usual dubious quotations:
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Splak piles are commonly to be found near the edge of hamlets and villages, where the inhabitants regularly go to deposit them; they are eventually scattered by the wind and the rain.  In towns and cities, splakworkers are employed to take the piles of splak by [[trundle cart]] from behind each household to the surrounding countryside.  No agricultural or industrial uses have as yet been discovered for splak, nor is it medicinal -- quite the contrary.
  
<p>Appearing Alongside Professor [[Ignatius Maximillian Albertus Crank]] will be...</p>
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Almost all the creatures of the Composite order produce splak, though the nature of the ''k***'' is quite species-specific: in [[burnflies]], for example, it varies from sky-blue to deep purple, and [[pyxie]] ''k***'' is vermilion in shade -- one of the few constant factors about those confusing creatures.
<div style="font-variant:small-caps;">Jigglier than a [[Fijjit Mejora|Pink Pachyderm]]; </div>
 
<div style="font-variant:small-caps;">Cuddlier than an Alluring Avian!</div>
 
<p>Well [[Splak|splak]] me folks, it's the one and only amazing Miss. Hairy Mandibles (MDip, BNCS, COBB, FLap).</p>
 
  
But well, [[King Harandraff the Great]] lived around -400 [[EC]], so obviously we don't know [[Splak|splak]] about the dude, and all of this is probably just hearsay.  
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The word is used in a variety of metaphorical senses, and in fact can be any of the four parts of speech, namely noun, verb, adjective, or objurgation.  It always connotes worthlessness and/or undesirability.  ''To splak'', for example, means to produce a pile of splak.  In particular, the phrase ''Splak me!'' is an exclamation meaning roughly "How surprisingly unfortunate!" and not, of course, a demand to be splakked by the listener.
  
Other reprehensible [[Pyxie]] habits include: [[Splak|splakking]] in public, undoing [[Equestrian Beetle]] [[toilet training]], and random, destructive raking.
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Finally, ''splakker'' is a term used chiefly by working Ghyllians and their sympathizers to mean a person employed temporarily during a strike.  The negative connotation ensures that those who hire splakkers do not call them that.
  
Several times the larger mercantile houses tried to bring in [[Splak|splakers]] and break the Union, but [[Johnny Lightning]] and Jimmy knew how to play that particular form of [[Bindlet Ball]].  The street fights were bloody, but the military-grade [[EctoMechanauts]] FUC had "invested" in paid off.  The Union held together.
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'''Citations''':  [[Johnny Lightning]], [[Ghyllian excretion]], [[trundle cart]].
  
While I admit that Tim works at that fine establishment, he is a fine, upstanding lad.  Not at all like that pile of [[splak]] father of his, [[Bysted Timperton]].  I should know, I play cards with the old dog every Tuesday and he cheats.
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--[[User:Jcowan|Jcowan]] 16:39, 23 Feb 2005 (EST)
 
 
(However, some scholars, present author included, have put forth the notion that all this secrecy is just a way of covering for the fact that the [[Aminfarances Institute of Science and Technomancy]] is just making [[splak]] up as they go along.)
 

Revision as of 16:39, 23 February 2005

Splak is the name given to a combination of spla and k*** (the latter word cannot yet be printed in full, even in scholarly works, due to the great offense it gives to many), the output of the Ghyllian excretion system. The spla is the larger white part, which is nitrogenous waste and insoluble in water; the small black dot in the center of a pile of splak is the k***, which is the final product of digestion and contains a complex mixture of mostly water-soluble chemicals. Ghyllians deposit piles of splak about every other day on average, though there is wide normal and pathological variation.

Splak piles are commonly to be found near the edge of hamlets and villages, where the inhabitants regularly go to deposit them; they are eventually scattered by the wind and the rain. In towns and cities, splakworkers are employed to take the piles of splak by trundle cart from behind each household to the surrounding countryside. No agricultural or industrial uses have as yet been discovered for splak, nor is it medicinal -- quite the contrary.

Almost all the creatures of the Composite order produce splak, though the nature of the k*** is quite species-specific: in burnflies, for example, it varies from sky-blue to deep purple, and pyxie k*** is vermilion in shade -- one of the few constant factors about those confusing creatures.

The word is used in a variety of metaphorical senses, and in fact can be any of the four parts of speech, namely noun, verb, adjective, or objurgation. It always connotes worthlessness and/or undesirability. To splak, for example, means to produce a pile of splak. In particular, the phrase Splak me! is an exclamation meaning roughly "How surprisingly unfortunate!" and not, of course, a demand to be splakked by the listener.

Finally, splakker is a term used chiefly by working Ghyllians and their sympathizers to mean a person employed temporarily during a strike. The negative connotation ensures that those who hire splakkers do not call them that.

Citations: Johnny Lightning, Ghyllian excretion, trundle cart.

--Jcowan 16:39, 23 Feb 2005 (EST)