Ghyll:Clamorxian Decoding Method

The Clamorxian Decoding Method was most famously used on the epic poem Bordingbras his hatt!, which contained the encoded AuroAlchemical and TheoAlchemical secrets given to the Looliers by their goddess Kiluma. In an interesting twist of fate, the Clamorxian Decoding Method was itself utilized as part of the alchemical processes, and is itself encoded in Bordingbras his hatt!. It is unclear how anyone knew about the Decoding Method in the first place, since it is needed to decode the text where it can be found, although the paradoxically reciprocal nature of the dilemma is characteristic of many of the things Kiluma has created. Sugar Beet!

However it was first discovered, the Clamorxian Decoding Method was rediscovered by Ibaan Malmiz in –119EC, exactly 20 years – to the day – before his disappearance and presumed death in –99EC. Ser Malmiz had been studying Bordingbras his hatt!, the only known surviving Loolier text, as part of his Hive-Lord Question, and being absolutely certain that there was some sort of message hidden in it, he began applying various decoding procedures to it until some sort of sense came out of them. The final method he tried – the Clamorxian Decoding Method, although he did not know it yet – was quite complex, involving alchemical treatment of the luminous manuscript the text was printed on, a set of spoken incantations, and a small dance routine in addition to the letter substitution and rearrangement processes that are used in more conventional decoding methods. The very first thing he decoded with the Clamorxian Decoding Method was the instructions for the Clamorxian Decoding Method, which left him slightly paranoid in his later years.

Upon discovering the Method, Ser Malmiz immediately tried to market it for all its worth, selling Clamorxian Decoder Rings on street corners and publicly performing the attached dance routine in front of any audience that would sit still long enough – almost none of them. While the Method was not a financial success, it was a great academic success, but this did not help Ser Malmiz particularly so by this time he had moved on to other things.

Since its discovery, the Clamorxian Decoding Method has been used to decode millions of ancient texts of various sorts, although almost none of this has resulted in anything other than gibberish since none of these texts were written by the Looliers. Still, it is considered standard academic practice for the Clamorxian Decoding Method to be used on any new manuscripts discovered on the off chance that something will come up. The only known bit of lucidity in a non-Loolier Clamorxian Decoded text is one of the most controversial finds in the history of science. The “Djiknax Creation Manuscripts”, found near the source of the Qestarius River, were decoded via the Clamorxian Method as per procedure, which resulted in a long string of random letters and numbers EXCEPT for a small segment near the middle that rather ominously read “Teh huor of dooom is upon us all! Sargewoold Pedresq, yor mothre is s a nincomppoop!” and gave a number, believed to indicate the exact “huor” that “dooom” will be upon us all. Some scholars believe that this whole phrase appearing is nothing more than a coincidence, and point to the spelling mistakes and the fact that the rest of the text only turns up gibberish as usual. Some scholars (and some random wackos) point out that a Richard Pedresq was present at the decoding, and that his daughter is due to have a baby very soon, although she doesn’t intend to name it Sargewoold. These scholars suggest that the message is a genuine warning of some cataclysmic event. Then there are those, such as myself, who believe that the whole thing is an elaborate hoax. In any case, the manuscripts are now locked in a vault at the Bureau of Regained Knowledge, which is a shame since the non-decoded, surface content of the manuscripts is rich and fascinating in detail, and could provide a wealth of information if any scholars were actually able to read it and study it.

Citations: Bordingbras his hatt!, Ibaan Malmiz, Djiknax Creation Manuscripts --Dfaran L'Eniarc 13:57, 31 May 2005 (EDT)

My fellow Scholar, hoax could not be farther from the truth! That's right, I said it! Shall I remind you that far too many linguists cut up letters and cyphers like popped feffercandy?!? I have seen a copy of that inscription (never mind you how) and it plainly says: tehouro fdooome - that's correct, the very name of a dark god inhabiting the great Out There. As for the rest of that sentence, I'm still working on it. --Nikos of Ant 15:30, 31 May 2005 (EDT)