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| − | I enjoyed this one. Am a bit concerned about some of the "flow" - if she's been burnt, and is dead, then she HAS died, and the family HAS gone away. Yet, your first paragraph talks as if she hasn't died. --[[User:Morbus Iff|Morbus Iff]] 09:25, 5 Aug 2005 (EDT) | + | I enjoyed this one. --[[User:Morbus Iff|Morbus Iff]] 09:25, 5 Aug 2005 (EDT) |
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| − | :I modified the flow so it's all written in the correct tense and everyone who should be dead, is. Thank you. --[[User:Undrhil|Trousle Undrhil]] 23:48, 7 Aug 2005 (EDT)
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| − | :Well, she did already die and then turn out to be okay once, maybe leaving her in the present tense is the correct thing to do in this case. --[[User:Dfaran L'Eniarc|Dfaran L'Eniarc]] 02:20, 8 Aug 2005 (EDT)
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| − | :No, she is definitely dead now. She was burned so as to prevent her from ceasing to be dead again. :) --[[User:Undrhil|Trousle Undrhil]] 13:38, 8 Aug 2005 (EDT)
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Revision as of 18:03, 8 August 2005
I enjoyed this one. --Morbus Iff 09:25, 5 Aug 2005 (EDT)
