Ghyll:Ghyllian excretion

Ghyllian excretion is one of the more commonly known facets of life, but there is so much to it which is still a mystery. For example, why is the excretion sometimes pink or green? Is there some meaning to it? Well, actually, there is a meaning to that and I will get to that in a minute. Another term by which this is called is splak. Generally speaking, it's a bad thing, but it serves a good purpose.

In -2100 EC, an unnamed scholar decided to perform verious tests to determine the properties of the excretion and he discovered several properties and a few oddities. For starters, that smell which comes from the excretion is actually the smell of the last couple of meals eaten and this is most noticed when a Ghyllian is on a strict diet of one particular food: the excretion will smell somewhat like that food. The part of the smell which is considered disgusting is actually the site of the excretion. One of the tests the unnamed scholar performed was a blind-folded smell test and the excretion was found to smell almost as good as the original food, until the blind fold was removed, at which point the person being tested crammed the excretion into the scholars face; hence, the expression we use today - "splak in your eye" as a form of being rude to someone who did something rude to you first.

Another property discovered was the consistency of the excretion never varied. It was always the same consistency and this continues to hold true to this day. This is where the expression "May your splak remian as always" comes from. Generally, this is used as a farewell to someone who you know very well. It can be taken the wrong way if used in a different context than what is usual for its use.

One of the oddities of Ghyllian excretion is its color. Normally, the color is a mixture of muave and tan. When a Ghyllian is going through icfromilious, the excretion usually tends to be more pink in color. It has been discovered that this is due to the internal changes occuring during this stage of life. When a Ghyllian is of generally poor health, the excretion can be a bright green color. This is due to the fact that the Ghyllian's stomache acids are weakened by the sickness and so mix in with the excretion as it's excreted. Apparently, Ghyllian stomache acid is green.

The other oddity discovered by the unnamed scholar is the use of Ghyllian excretion as a form of planting food. The green excretion has been shown to increase the productivity of any plant to which it is applied. This increase is shown in larger fruits, better tasting vegetables and more firm berries. The pink excretion, however, has the opposite effect and is often used by farmers to kill unwanted plants and other pests. Normal excretion is usually gathered in one place and burned.

The phrase "Burning the midnight splak" originated around -1525 EC when several Ghyllians discovered the wonderful feelings they had when they would light up a splak stick and inhale the fumes from it. They apparently did this at midnight when Pinky is at it's fullest phase. Due to the consistency of excretion, the stick is usually covered in flour or some other thickening agent over night and then smoked the next night.

The final property of Ghyllian excretion was discovered in -1206 EC and has proven to be the most valuable discovery in regards to excretion. Ghyllian excretion can be mixed with yellow powder found in the Mines and with several herbs which are grown all over Ghyll. This mixture, when mixed properly and allowed to dry, is combustable and can be used to create dazzling displays of light and noise. Modifying what herbs are used in the mixture changes the color of the light and the type of excretion used can affect the noise created. Many effects have been heard, all the way from a simple quite toot to a full blast of trumpting sounds. In -503 EC, Thou Greatly Heeded founded the Color and Noise Foundation in Ellensworth and began donating all of his splak for Ghyllian research. He is not to be confused with Thou Greatly Headed who merely thought he was important enough to donate his splak for research, but was denied when he said, "My splak is worth all the money in the world!" He was beheaded shortly thereafter.

--Trousle Undrhil 17:13, 1 Jul 2005 (EDT)

Citations:Icfromilious,Splak,Pinky