Difference between revisions of "Ghyll:Ignatius Maximillian Albertus Crank"
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| − | [The following is a transcript of the only known contemporary mention of Professor Ignatius Maximillian Albertus Crank; from an advertisement handed out in a | + | [The following is a transcript of the only known contemporary mention of Professor Ignatius Maximillian Albertus Crank; from an advertisement handed out in a fête programme in roughly -80 [[EC]].] |
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<div style="font-size:135%; font-variant:small-caps; padding-bottom:0.25em;">Professor Ignatius Maximillian Albertus Crank</div> | <div style="font-size:135%; font-variant:small-caps; padding-bottom:0.25em;">Professor Ignatius Maximillian Albertus Crank</div> | ||
<div style="padding-bottom:0.25em;">provides intellectual Conceits to the Community, &nd</div> | <div style="padding-bottom:0.25em;">provides intellectual Conceits to the Community, &nd</div> | ||
| − | <div>a Sample of Sundry | + | <div>a Sample of Sundry hair-wares for your "entertainment"!</div> |
<p>* * *</p> | <p>* * *</p> | ||
<div style="padding-bottom:0.25em;">Cranee this Monterfest!</div> | <div style="padding-bottom:0.25em;">Cranee this Monterfest!</div> | ||
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<p>Appearing Alongside Professor Crank will be...</p> | <p>Appearing Alongside Professor Crank will be...</p> | ||
<div style="font-variant:small-caps;">Jigglier than a [[Fijjit_Mejora|Pink Pachyderm]]; </div> | <div style="font-variant:small-caps;">Jigglier than a [[Fijjit_Mejora|Pink Pachyderm]]; </div> | ||
| − | <div style="font-variant:small-caps;">Cuddlier than | + | <div style="font-variant:small-caps;">Cuddlier than an Alluring Avian!</div> |
<p>Well [[Splak|splak]] me folks, it's the one and only amazing Miss. Hairy Mandibles (MDip, BNCS, COBB, FLap).</p> | <p>Well [[Splak|splak]] me folks, it's the one and only amazing Miss. Hairy Mandibles (MDip, BNCS, COBB, FLap).</p> | ||
Revision as of 11:47, 6 November 2004
[The following is a transcript of the only known contemporary mention of Professor Ignatius Maximillian Albertus Crank; from an advertisement handed out in a fête programme in roughly -80 EC.]
Roll up, Roll up!
* * *
The stupendousest night of the season comes afoot as
Professor Ignatius Maximillian Albertus Crank
provides intellectual Conceits to the Community, &nd
a Sample of Sundry hair-wares for your "entertainment"!
* * *
Cranee this Monterfest!
Seven nights minus six only!
|
For a contrivance of your Quezloos:
"Astonishing" Hair Tonic Never again will your hairy parts be hairyless! Winter is "coming"; don't be caught a fool with your sensitive parts frozen to the surroundings.
Lo! Prof. I.M. Albertus Crank
will demonstrate the mysteries of the quayres as he re-enacts his famous
Potting of the Ten Kettles
being as he is a world class &nd most utterly "excellent" handler of those Stoppers and Steppers.
"Help, for I am trapped in a strange advertisement!"
Will Prof. Crank again Flaunt his Famous
* multiple aedeaguses *
in front of the crowd? We just do not know!!!
Turn up, find out, be AMAZED!
|
Appearing Alongside Professor Crank will be... Jigglier than a Pink Pachyderm;
Cuddlier than an Alluring Avian!
Well splak me folks, it's the one and only amazing Miss. Hairy Mandibles (MDip, BNCS, COBB, FLap). So Don't Miss Out:
Discoverer of Elminster Mire's talking dead!
Adventurer, philanthropist, scholar, doctor, horse waxer, entrepreneur, pharmacologist, gut screamer, &nd theologian!
Prof. I.M. Albertus Crank Will be appearing for your entertainment
in Cranee, this coming Monterfest!
Next Monterfest Show:
Pantheon of Diseases!
Coming again only to Cranee.
(For bookings, contact the pox office.)
|
Citations: Fijjit_Mejora, Quezlarian Ooo, Splak.
--Sean B. Palmer 10:57, 6 Nov 2004 (EST)
