Difference between revisions of "Ghyll:Ignatius Maximillian Albertus Crank"

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m (Potting. Of... ***BOGGLES***)
m (&nd?!)
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<div style="padding-bottom:0.25em;">The stupendousest night of the season comes afoot as</div>
 
<div style="padding-bottom:0.25em;">The stupendousest night of the season comes afoot as</div>
 
<div style="font-size:135%; font-variant:small-caps; padding-bottom:0.25em;">Professor Ignatius Maximillian Albertus Crank</div>
 
<div style="font-size:135%; font-variant:small-caps; padding-bottom:0.25em;">Professor Ignatius Maximillian Albertus Crank</div>
<div style="padding-bottom:0.25em;">provides intellectual conceits to the community, </div>
+
<div style="padding-bottom:0.25em;">provides intellectual conceits to the community, &amp;nd</div>
<div>and a Sample of his Hair Wares for your "entertainment"!</div>
+
<div>a Sample of his Hair Wares for your "entertainment"!</div>
 
<p>* * *</p>
 
<p>* * *</p>
 
<p>Cranee this Monterfest!</p>
 
<p>Cranee this Monterfest!</p>
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<div>will demonstrate the mysteries of the quayres as he re-enacts his famous</div>
 
<div>will demonstrate the mysteries of the quayres as he re-enacts his famous</div>
 
<div><strong>Potting of the Ten Kettles</strong></div>
 
<div><strong>Potting of the Ten Kettles</strong></div>
<div>being as he is a world class and most utterly "excellent" handler of those Stoppers and Steppers.</div>
+
<div>being as he is a world class &amp;nd most utterly "excellent" handler of those Stoppers and Steppers.</div>
  
 
<hr />
 
<hr />
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<div style="text-align:center;">So Don't Miss Out:</div>
 
<div style="text-align:center;">So Don't Miss Out:</div>
 
<div>Discoverer of Elminster Mire's <strong>talking dead</strong>!</div>
 
<div>Discoverer of Elminster Mire's <strong>talking dead</strong>!</div>
<div>Adventurer, philanthropist, scholar, doctor, horse waxer, entrepreneur, pharmacologist, gut screamer, and theologian!</div>
+
<div>Adventurer, philanthropist, scholar, doctor, horse waxer, entrepreneur, pharmacologist, gut screamer, &amp;nd theologian!</div>
 
<p style="font-variant:small-caps;">Prof. I.M. Albertus Crank</p>
 
<p style="font-variant:small-caps;">Prof. I.M. Albertus Crank</p>
 
<div><strong>Will be appearing</strong> for your entertainment</div>
 
<div><strong>Will be appearing</strong> for your entertainment</div>

Revision as of 11:28, 6 November 2004

[The following is a transcript of the only known contemporary mention of Professor Ignatius Maximillian Albertus Crank; from an advertisement handed out in a fete programme in roughly -80 EC.]


Roll up, roll up!

* * *

The stupendousest night of the season comes afoot as
Professor Ignatius Maximillian Albertus Crank
provides intellectual conceits to the community, &nd
a Sample of his Hair Wares for your "entertainment"!

* * *

Cranee this Monterfest!

Seven nights minus six only!


For a contrivance of your Quezloos:

"Astonishing" Hair Tonic

Never again will your hairy parts be hairyless! Winter is "coming"; don't be caught a fool with your sensitive parts frozen to the surroundings.

Lo! Prof. I.M. Albertus Crank
will demonstrate the mysteries of the quayres as he re-enacts his famous
Potting of the Ten Kettles
being as he is a world class &nd most utterly "excellent" handler of those Stoppers and Steppers.

"Help, for I am trapped in a strange advertisement!"

Will Fessor Crank again flaunt his famous
* multiple aedeaguses *
in front of the crowd? We just do not know!!!
Turn up, find out, be AMAZED!
 

Appearing alongside Professor Crank will be...

Jigglier than a pink pachyderm;
Cuddlier than an alluring avian!

The one and only amazing Miss. Hairy Mandibles (MDip, BNCS, COBB, FLap).


So Don't Miss Out:
Discoverer of Elminster Mire's talking dead!
Adventurer, philanthropist, scholar, doctor, horse waxer, entrepreneur, pharmacologist, gut screamer, &nd theologian!

Prof. I.M. Albertus Crank

Will be appearing for your entertainment
in Cranee, this coming Monterfest!

Next Monterfest Show:
Pantheon of Diseases!
Coming again only to Cranee.
(For bookings, contact the pox office.)

Citations: Fijjit_Mejora, Quezloos, @@.

--Sean B. Palmer 10:57, 6 Nov 2004 (EST)