Two Human Souls Not For Sale

This doesn't surprise me, but eBay has canceled an auction of minority ownership of two human souls, which I had bidded on:

eBay does not allow the auctioning of human souls for the following reasons: If the soul does not exist, eBay could not allow the auctioning of the soul because there would be nothing to sell. However if the soul does exist, then in accordance with eBay's policy on human parts and remains we would not allow the auctioning of human souls. Therefore, we have ended this auction and all fees have been credited to your account.

This reminds me of an old acquaintance. For some odd reason, some friends that I've lost touch with used to call me "Satan" or the "Devil". One day, during our weekly movie fest, we ordered pizza. We split the pizza evenly, each getting two slices. One guy was still hungry, and asked for my slice. He agreed to give me his soul for it. I made him sign a contract, of which I still have. Muhah!