Osama Writes to Dear Abby

I'm not too worried about authenticity here, but some quotes from Osama's purported Letter to America had me chuckling:

(viii) And because of all this, you have been described in history as a nation that spreads diseases that were unknown to man in the past. Go ahead and boast to the nations of man, that you brought them AIDS as a Satanic American Invention.

(5) We also advise you to pack your luggage and get out of our lands. We desire for your goodness, guidance, and righteousness, so do not force us to send you back as cargo in coffins.

I just had a good chuckle over both (I should probably preface that statement with a bunch of backpedaling explanations, but we'll wait until the inevitable "Morbus is a terrorist!" emails)...