With Great Sadness...

Yesterday, I watched all three extended LORD OF THE RINGS movies, it being my first time seeing the second and third (second time seeing the first). I started at 4 PM in the afternoon, and ended at 4 AM in the morning, the longest I've stayed up for two or three years. I didn't feel tired at all, quite odd when I normally hit the hay around midnight (I long ago eschewed the need for all night hacking sessions, instead desiring to just be overly "productive" at all regular hours irregardless).

The movies, (though, or perhaps, because) incredible, left me with an immense depression that they were finished... I awoke from a night of LOTR-related dreams with an immense need for "closure", and I scoured for an old copy of RETURN OF THE KING to re-read the last chapter, and watched the "end of production" related extras.

I was hit with an immense feeling of inadequacy - perhaps aggravated by my recent complaints on #swhack that "i think i'm doing good work now, just like i thought years ago when i wrote that. and ten years from now, i'm gonna look back on today and grow just as weary as I do now. I suck". Where is my Lord of the Rings?

And with that (and this), I fell (fall) into a downtrodden mood, near crying.