issue seventy
next issue : february eighth
Editor-in-Chief: Morbus
Devil Shat is an evolving zine of thoughts, feelings, ideas, rebuttals of the world's events, and discussions of intellect. It is a bunch of stuff from a bunch of places and from a bunch of people. It is a release for us... it allows us to put into words things that just would not fit in anything else.
Topics covered within these pages include rape, whether those who use the internet are a culture, a rebuttal to the patriotic white aryan movement, whether our life is void, and much, much more. We've been going for more than a year... we've covered quite a range of ideas.
Devil Shat started long ago in May of 1997. Since then, we have gotten kicked offline, had a shaky restart, and finally committed ourselves to a monthly schedule. And now we have won numerous awards, have a huge mailing list, and get new subscribers (and submissions) every day. And why name it Devil Shat? Well, Time is a pretty stupid name if you ask me.
Along with being completely random, Devil Shat has a number of regular articles that appear sporadically (isn't that a contradiction?). These are described below:
JUST DO IT--> Too many times we argue and bitch over things and merely let them fade away into a folder called "No Compromise". That is the foundation of these articles, to go that extra step and discuss what would happen if we did this or that... and then its impact. Note that the feelings and situations expressed within these articles are not necessarily what we feel. They are merely results of what might happen.
THE DEVIL'S DUMP--> This is merely our cleanup section. A lot of things bug us, or make us want to comment, but they're just not worthy enough to become their own article. So, we throw them here... consider it a potpourri of tiny Devil Shats.
REBUTTAL--> Sometimes someone beats us to the punch, and publishes an article that we might have written. So we read it. And we disagree with it. Badly. What do we do? Rebuttal.
An evolving zine? What on earth is that?
Devil Shat is the first of its kind, an ezine that never gets old and issues that never go out of print or stop being discussed. How do we do this? A top secret blend of herbs and spices. First, all of the issues are always online for people to read, thus allowing them to email comments on them. These emails are usually posted to the webpage allowing a collection of opinions. And if six months down the line, a writer feels that he has more facts for an article he had written, or has revised an article into a better essay, then he can throw the new version up. From the original untouched release of a new Devil Shat to a three month old discussed and updated web version, an issue will never be the same for long.
Ok, um, how do I subscribe?
Devil Shat is published both on the web and through a plain-text mailing list every two weeks. You can subscribe by clicking on that magical "subscribe" word below. Also, tell us a little about yourself, and where you heard of Devil Shat. Unsubscribe instructions are located in every issue we send out. We know our ideas and differing opinions can cause some strong emotions within people so if we have touched your nerve and you wish to unsubscribe, tell us why.
You might also want plain-text copies of our back issues. To get these, go to http://www.disobey.com/text/ and you will be able to download them or view them online.
![Hi... my name is Satan, and I'm [gulp] an alcoholic...](images/index2.gif)
Is Devil Shat Satanic?
NO, it is not Satanic. It is called Devil Shat because it is a bunch of crap from us. We are not doing Devil Shat for profit... this is just a bunch of throw away things that we didn't want to lose. It is not intended as a religious bashing zine or as something that it influenced by the devil himself. It is just a bunch of stuff. The point is: THIS IS NOT A SATANIC ZINE....
But, of course, people do not seem to understand that. They skip over what is being said and instead focus on what is being talked about. Which, as much as they seem the same, are different. For example, we still get mail complaining about Issue Four and how we are sick aryan pigs and racists. They don't focus on the opinions of the subject, but rather, on the subject itself. It's quite annoying.
"Yeah, well the name of the zine is...". We know, we know. The name of the zine is Devil Shat, so it must be satanic right? Wrong. When Devil Shat was first created, the name came from the fact that everyone has something they don't want. This was what the Devil didn't want. So, he "shat" (past tense of "shit") it out. As of right now, the name has no relation to the magazine. But, why change?
Do people actually read this stuff?
Uh huh, a lot of people. Most issues have garnered some response, and the email have been added to a section called "Judgments" at the end of each issue. You can also read email that doesn't fit into any of the issues... simply click here.
Devil Shat has won an award from the
e.zine movement. It is their highest award and we were up against almost one
hundred other publications. We thank everyone who has contributed and to all
those who kept reading. This won't be the last, rest assured.
Hahaha... Good Luck!
Well, guess what? We don't thrive on luck. If we did, we would merely sit back and let people write their own stuff. When we had enough to publish, publish we would. But we are dedicated to making this biweekly, and to making this something we would be proud of. Luck does not play a part, nor will it ever.
One of the things that really makes us angry is the fact that everyone seems to think it is a great idea to launch an ezine. Everyone has to do it, because everyone has to be in the spotlight. And most of the times, new magazines get to about issue 3 and then die due to lack of readers or contributions. Neither make a zine. Dedication makes a zine. Readers and contributions come after people realize you are going to do this with or without them.
Are you guys evil?
Well, that's purely up to interpretation. To some people, religion is evil. To others, the degradation of females is horrible. And to others, kissing on the first date is evil. So, are we evil? Give us your definition of evil, and we'll tell you if we fit your status quo.
Can I write?
Sure, send anything. If we accept it, it becomes ours within the confines of Devil Shat. Any manifestation of Devil Shat will be able to use this submission without fear of legal repercussions. The piece remains yours to revise and to submit to other places, but it is your legal responsibility to inform whom you're submitting to that it was also published in this zine.
What are we looking for? Any submission that is short, sweet, and to the point. You can deviate from your point if it makes sense, but it does need some purpose. Anything that deals with topics that are in the news today or anything that could cause a rise of agreement or disagreement in your readers.
We're really looking for stuff that will cause people to respond to what is said. Submissions do not necessarily have to be "different thinking" from the norm, they merely have to be interesting, or cause a "hmm... didn't think of it that way".
Many people have helped make Devil Shat a better venture than even we would have thought possible. And it is to them, and to our readers that we would like to thank.
Contributing writers have included Nimbus, C. Barry Slough, Ryan Bolin, Peter Stokes, Cris Brafman, D. Word, Ivan S. Graves, Rick Dobs, Sister Helen P. Mrosia, Alex Boomer, Tom Giddings, G. Nih Ton, Crash23, Black Tyde, The Horseman, Truthserum, Ivy, Wil Forbis, Stillborn, Discordia, PushPop, Colin Lodder, IGNORE the HYPE, various futurist painters and programmers, ed nodbarb, Cameron Barrett, Brian Newman, AnmlWzdm, Demosthenes, John Treacy, Rown Garnbii, Maggie Knowles, Innocent Email Users, Unkle John, Amanda Bryant and Todd Shaddox.
Our contributing artists have been Tony Sinner (who did the wonderful image above and those in Devil Shat Six) and John Treacy (who did images from issue 17 to fifty something or other).
Special thanks to Sarcastic Sailor for doing a great job editing a couple of our issues. And also to Circes116 for volunteering to take over the editing job (for a short while) after Sarcastic Sailor left.
A popular feature, the Devil Shat Dictionary allows you to find out what we really mean when we say something in a Devil Shat article. Sometimes there is a inner meaning to a phrase... sure, it might be funny now, but if you knew the whole deal, than it would be even better. Read this and be happy.
Devil's Dump is a section of Devil Shat that highlights tiny irritants... those things that are only worth a couple of paragraphs, or are of enough interest to be mentioned. Simply, this is every Devil's Dump that Devil Shat has ever published in one lump sum. If you want quick little blow-by-blows, come here.
Every issue we get mail concerning the articles contained within. Sometimes we get random mail that might bring up good points, nice kudos, or bad slams. We throw them all into this Collective Judgment thing. Kinda like a generic email section.
Ever heard of Blogger.com? News and media has taken an incredible liking to it... in short, it allows easy creation and updating of webpages, without having to worry about FTP settings, archiving, HTML, and all that other "look! i'm a webmaster!" crap. It's insanely great, but Morbus wants to wring it's blue and orange neck. Find out why. Contains: Why Blogger Empowers Mindless Nits by Morbus.
All you throngs of horny chicks who keep their schedules open merely to read Morbus will be sorely disappointed. Yes, indeed, he has not written this issue. Entice yourself with the fact that he's too busy performing the metaphorical issue number. And then wet your palettes on part Three of Rown Garnbii's Assholic, and another piece from well received Amanda Bryant. Contains: Assholic: Assholic, Part Three by Rown Garnbii and Spectrum of Emotion by Amanda Bryant.
Rown Garnbii returns with his famous Assholic column, attacking the first class of assholes in the world: the dumb guy. And Morbus jumps back on board with old people, wall paper, nursing homes, and some chick named Madd Maxine. And finally? A warmth inducing story called "Jack". You'll want to cry. Contains: Rabid Grannies by Morbus, Assholic: Assholic, Part Two by Rown Garnbii and Jack by Todd Shaddox.
Morbus plans to reinvent the world - not just your perception of it. A pretty heady statement, but his lack luster excuse for not showing up this issue. Instead, we've got who many people are calling the sister of Wannabe Goth, as well as Rown Garnbii's explanation of what "assholic" means and betrays. Wonderful stuff. Contains: Bring Him Back! We Love Him! by Morbus, Assholic: Assholic by Rown Garnbii and Avoiding as a Solution by Amanda Bryant.
Morbus wants to be your bitch, so whip out your penis and let him know you care. Seems he misses the old days, sitting around a dusty table, eating Cheetos and roleplaying in lands unknownst to the Normal People. Read more about his dreams and desires. To the surprise of many, Rown's back with four articles with the first Devil's Dump in a year and a half. Take a gander. Contains: Going Backwards by Morbus and Assholic and The Devil's Dump by Rown Garnbii.
The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Some old dead guy named Goldschmdit. "Hopeful Monsters". The Spider Goat. Rown Garnbii and his final battle for sin or salvation. It is now time to read. Thanks. For reading. This pathetic and stilted. Annoucement. Contains: Discuss Amongst Yourself by Morbus, ASSHOLIC: The Greatest Article Ever Told by Rown Garnbii, and UK:FYI from Unkle John.
A pathetic and annoying play on words. And ants taking over the world. And gearing up for his final installment, Rown Garnbii returns with the Ninth Commandment of the Bible. (This description is much too short. I know. Burn in hell). Contains: Welcome Front by Morbus, and ASSHOLIC: The Greatest Article Ever Told by Rown Garnbii.
Well, be prepared for a lot of bullshit. Morbus claims some pathetic excuse yet again, and disappears from a full article again. Instead, be prepared for heart-felt renderings from Rown Garnbii, as well as Microsoft, monkeys, black people, desktop publishing, and a cool $75,000. Contains: David Copperfield Would Be Proud by Morbus, Don't Offend Me, I Need the Money by Tom Giddings and ASSHOLIC: The Greatest Article Ever Told by Rown Garnbii.
You really don't want to read this issue. Well. Actually, if you have a hated passion for Morbus' writing, then you'll definitely want to jump on this one. Apparently, he chickened out and instead of writing an article, merely gave a pathetic excuse, and turned it into a 'reader submission' issue. Liar! Contains: The Slack Jawed Yokel by Morbus, Drifting Alone in the Fog by Innocent Email User and ASSHOLIC: The Greatest Article Ever Told by Rown Garnbii.
Morbus makes a wrong turn and starts wallpapering your eyeballs with stories of high school dodgeball, metallic twanging, and ... wife beating? Find out how it all related, as well as the latest Rown Garnbii analysis of the Ten Commandments: 'Thou Shalt Not Kill'... What the hell does that have to do with Cracker Jacks though? Find out! Contains: Lions as Children, Lambs as Adults by Morbus and ASSHOLIC: The Greatest Article Ever Told by Rown Garnbii.
To the chagrin of many, and the delusions of others, we're not dead. Instead, Morbus waxes futuristic with Stephen Hawking about what's in store and why shivers and smiles should be passed around. On the other hand, Rown Garnbii continues his redemption analysis with part five: 'Honor thy father and thy mother'. A big issue with wonderful bits of foreshadowing. Contains: Thinking in Eleven Dimensions by Morbus and ASSHOLIC: The Greatest Article Ever Told by Rown Garnbii.
Morbus finally decides to confess that he is really a woman. He figure it's a wonderful Christmas present to those who have been following Devil Shat since day one. Sure, we're not really serious - that was a weak tie in to the fact that this issue includes an article about Christmas. Also includes the fourth of Rown Garnbii's monumental ten part series. Contains: A Woman's Show Makes A Point by Morbus and ASSHOLIC: The Greatest Article Ever Told by Rown Garnbii.
If you have only two seconds of the day, you can definitely finish at least one article... along with Morbus's normal bitching, he spent six little words and branded it a new article. I can only shake my head. And be sure to catch part three of Rown Garbii's analysis on the ten commandments and whether he's been good or bad. Contains: A Six Word Essay by Morbus, A Tab Bit OverZealousness by Morbus and ASSHOLIC: The Greatest Article Ever Told by Rown Garnbii.
Ok, if you hate the "Sabrina: The Teenage Witch" television series, you're going to have a love / hate relationship with this article as we expose Viacom's little tussle (is that even a word?). Also in this issue is the teaser for the new Horror Section and the second installment of Rown Gownbii's battle with the commandments. Contains: COMING SOON: The Horror Section by Morbus, MAXIMizing Potential by Morbus and ASSHOLIC: The Greatest Article Ever Told by Rown Garnbii.
Sure, people say we're all gonna die soon, but that doesn't stop the small significances that people place on dates, times, and other meaningless conjectures. Hear Morbus spout, Rown Garnbii start a ten issue (!!) series, and Maggie Knowles with thoughts on... well... . Contains: EDITORIAL: Really, It Was Unintentional by Morbus, ASSHOLIC: The Greatest Article Ever Told by Rown Garnbii, and SexWorkers by Maggie Knowles.
Some may call it good news, some may call it bad news - whatever the case, Devil Shat moving to a monthly publishing schedule can only mean higher quality issues. We follow this announcement (and its reasoning) with a new column called "Assholic" detailing AOL, sexual exploits, and the Rosie O'Donnell show. Contains: An Important Note by Morbus, ASSHOLIC: X X X => click here by Rown Garnbii.
He really does try to keep Devil Shat going on a similar topic each issue, but no matter what Morbus mutters about "there's a connection", we have some totally unrelated articles for you, prefaced by a rather boring introduction from Morbus, himself. Contains: I Have No Clue by Morbus, Blair Witch, Bitch by John Treacy and What Keeps You Up At Night? by Cameron Barrett.
Morbus eats a bagel with peanut butter while watching the news. Find out what has given him indigestion, why Mrs. Tingle should kneel and cry and more. Then give John Treacy the floor as he explains what the Republicans are up to, and the fun of re-creation. Contains: Genocide Isn't THAT Bad by Morbus and You Got Blood On My VCR!!!! by John Treacy.
Back to your regularly scheduled Devil Shat with an article on affimative action, and a little bitching about the type of novels that English class teachers force their students to read. Should they teach a lesson, or should they be interesting? Can they be both? Contains: I'm a Teacher: Shooting People is Bad by Morbus and What We Call Equality by John Treacy.
Ok, we're gonna milk the fact that we've reached issue fifty one more time, simply because we can. Expect to find a quick intro from Morbus, and then a full blooded response to the past fifty issues: their meanings, their email responses and a little bitching as well. This is the last time (well, until we get to issue One Hundred). Contains: A Little Introduction by Morbus and ENTER THE WU-TANG by John Treacy.
Morbus gets all blubbery and spouts off about how he felts sooo wonderful about releasing fifty issues. Seems to us that he'll just laugh at his words four months from now (when we all die), and realize the error of his ways. But he lives for the moment, and thus releases the fiftieth issue of Devil Shat. A milestone anyway you look at it. Contains: Growing Old Down by the Bay by Morbus.
Morbus gets all mysterious and starts blabbering about some "religious document" and something called Modern Day Morbii. We know it has something to do with pretentiousness, self deceit, and herd conformity. Throw in some stupidity, and you've got a list of Sins every one should be following. Contains: The Sins of the Modern Day Morbii by Morbus.
Morbus gets another headache, and acts like that excuses him from the tried and true duty of writing articles for his millions of readers. Crossing the boundaries of Lewinsky, Clinton, the old crone, the income tax, questions about weight, that funky Valley Girl hair twirl thing, and proving to the world that we have represented America faithfully, Morbus writes until no one listens. All too typical. Contains: Yeah, You Can Burn In Hell, Too by Morbus.
It's not something that everyone can grasp. The difference between things. Sure, I could ask you to tell me why a mouse is different from an elephant, or the difference between driving and walking. It seems obvious, doesn't it? Besides confusing you, we also have a new writer detailing charred bodies, standing feet, and seeing your breakfast twice. Contains: Fake Vs. Real, Glam Vs. Suck by Morbus, and A Devil Called Grim by Demosthenes.
Everybody remember that great show that had Grizzly Adams in it? Little did we know that we were poking fun at a part of our society that likes to be different than us and talk to animals to boot. Hermits and our Society, as well as that lovable Bull grace this issue. Contains: Hermit Vs. Society by Morbus, and Air Jordan Grounded; Stock Market Plunges by AnmlWzdm.
Morbus entertains the idea of a new medium - where contemplation and complex ideas are understood within the 15 seconds it takes for a webpage to completely download. Then he laughs it off to an X-Files episode, and passes the issue over to an article detailing various steps necessary to get bypassed by the judicial system. Contains: Introduction and Other Preface Fears by Morbus, and How to Avoid Jury Duty by Brian Newman.
This issue is nothing short of one big advertisement. Well, actually... it's ABOUT advertising (which we know everyone loves). But don't worry, we threw in a poem to calm down all those people who don't like complicated sentence structures. Good or bad? Ug. Ugh? OooOoOo... I understand now. Contains: The Great Ethical Advertising Beast by Morbus, Three Word Poem by ed nodbard and The Great Unethical Advertising Beast by Cameron Barrett.
I think it is time for me to say it: once again, it is Happy Done-That Year. Yes, a whole year of repetition, boredom, and "haven't we been here before?" Revel in it, slap yourself, and read some Devil Shat. Be bored with us - because togetherness means wholeness. (Don't ask - moonshine on sale this week). Contains: Happy Done-That Year Two by Morbus.
Welp, it's been a while since we've had a healthy dose of the DEVIL'S DUMP, so Morbus happily obliges with blurbs about remakes and updated versions of classic thriller movies, those damn evil Furbies, and the Bible in 50 Words... Nope, nothing to do with Christmas, thank someone... Two years in a row. Phew. Contains: THE DEVIL'S DUMP by various.
Morbus has been programming up a storm lately on this idea that no one would think he would care to act upon. It's a long story. Either way, in an effort to make his life seem all inter-related, he publishes A Manifesto of the Futurist Programmers... interesting for those who care. Contains: Introduction and Other Preface Fears by Morbus and The Manifesto of the Futurist Programmers by various.
